Movie Collection

I love movies, and my (very incomplete) movie collection probably says a lot about me. You be the judge....

Starsky&Hutch, Zoolander, Eddie Murphy:Raw, White Chicks, Old School, Superbad, Grandma's Boy, Black Sheep, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, Mr.Deeds, Big Daddy, Harold&Kumar Go To White Castle, Wayne's World, Wayne's World 2, Superstar, 40 Year Old Virgin, Kung Pow, South Park, Artisocrats, Mallrats, Clerks, Clerks 2, Jay&Silent Bob Strike Back, Baseketball, Saving Silverman, Super Troopers, Office Space, A Mighty Wind, Waiting for Guffman, Grumpy Old Men, Bringing Down the House, 10 Things I Hate About You, Drive Me Crazy, Clueless, The Sweetest Thing, Little Black Book, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Nine Months, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Charlie's Angels, Riding in Cars with Boys, Last Holiday, Mermaids, When Harry Met Sally, Moonstruck, Terms of Endearment, Hope Floats, The Hours, Cutting Edge, Little Women, Princess Bride, Bridget Jones' Diary, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, Girl Interrupted, American Beauty, Sliding Doors, Antwone Fisher, Big Fish, High Fidelity, Almost Famous, Thomas Crown Affair (new), Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, E.T., Edward Scissorhands, Punch Drunk Love, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Happiness, Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, Napolean Dynomite, Dr. Strangelove, Big Lebowski, Groundhogs Day, Caddyshack, The Man with Two Brains, Airplane, Blazing Saddles, History of the World Part 1, Vacation, European Vacation, Some Kind of Wonderful, Risky Business, Overboard, Goonies, Ghostbusters, Space Camp, Short Circuit, Trading Spaces, Ferris Beullers Day Off, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Dazed and Confused, Singles, Hedgwig and the Angry Inch, Flash Dance, Dirty Dancing, Moulin Rouge, West Side Story, You'll Never Get Rich, Some Like it Hot, An American in Paris, On The Town, Breakfast at Tiffany's, One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest, Auntie Mame, The Graduate, The Quiet Man, An Office and a Gentleman, Happy Feet, Bug's Life, Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Shrek 1,2&3, Snow White, Jungle Book, Annie, Yours Mine and Ours (old), Shanghai Knights, Jackass, The Manchurian Candidate (new), Phone Booth, Cabin Fever, Sex in the City (Seasons 1-5), That 70's Show (season 1), Nightmare Before Christmas, Rocky Horror Picture Show, SNL Best of: Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, John Belushi, Molly Shannon, Gilda Radner and Steve Martin, So I Married an Axe Murderer, My Best Friend's Wedding, Run Away Bride, Four Weddings and a Funeral, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Wedding Crashers.

Babe-e Dad-e

Ok, I know for a fact I'm not the only who saw their first commercial for Disney Pixar's Wall-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter -- Earth-Class) and thought...Hey! That's Johnny 5 squished down and animated(ish)! If there's any mystery at all about this baby's daddy...I have the solution.

All I Have to Say About SATC

Don't worry...I won't do a rundown of the movie, how its a little idealistic and predictable for my taste...etc, etc. I enjoyed it to the degree of my expectations, and I'm a HUGE fan of the series.
No...all I'm really going to say is that if you are a guy and you go with your girlfriend, or you are a girl that takes her boyfriend you are serious losers. This is not just a chick flick...this is a culturally female and/or gay male EVENT. And all this says is that you are one of those couples who abandoned all their friends and identities on the side of the single road the second the relationship bus came along and ran your ass over.
To repent, please do the following....remember all your girlfriends? If you don't, check those undialed numbers in your phone...call them and set up something that involves foo foo drinks, foo foo smells and mini forks. While you're gone...send your boyfriend/husband/capteur a la Tom Cruise/little biotch out for drinks with the boys. He doesn't even have to KNOW the boys because either way they shouldn't be "talking" or "connecting"...just have him go to dark, dirty bar where there is crap on the floor and an oversized television with too many pixels showing a contact sport.
If it just so happens that a straight male enjoys SATC in its purest form, first...look up the definition of straight and maybe start "experimenting" and second, just wait. It will be on DVD in a short while and only you and Netflix will know you watched it. Oh, and don't go alone...we assume a man, alone in SATC is going to either murder us or wack off during OUR movie.
(one person gets a free pass on this one...Anne...because she's already seen it twice before...with her family, then with girlfriends, and soon possibly with Matt. If she went to a movie with gratuitous sex with Susan, she has earned it)

The Immortal Bean

7am news...new study out regarding health benefits of 2-6 cups of coffee daily. The study's findings (according to the news caster)? Coffee reduces your chance of dying. Pretty bold statement, considering everyone since the beginning of time has died. And even if that was mispoken...the doctor reporting goes on to mention that although coffee can extend your life (by minutes or years was not distinguished) it can also cause high blood pressure, palpatations, and other health issues. So are we saying those lasting moments of life are going to be spent suffering angina? Perhaps hooked up to tubes and monitors?
This report lead me to 2 conclusions...
1) To all those people thinking that I am losing out on enriching my knowledge by indulging in Adam Sandler, Spongebob, and Rock of Love...at least I come out of those shows entertained, if not any more informed.
2) If you like coffee...drink coffee. Nothing in the umpteen billion years that people have been drinking it have their been any conclusive findings* as to whether its "healthy" or "not healthy." If it feels good drink it. If it doesn't, don't.

*Disclaimer: I didn't look into every coffee research ever done...or ANY for that matter, beyond what I saw this morning. But I figure something conclusive would have made this report null and void...which it was anyways...so there.

Welcome to our world-babies of 2008

Yesterday Finlay Barry was born to my friends Mark and Courtney...he is adorable. He has two of the most kind hearted, fun, witty people as parents, and it will be fun to see the traits he gets from both of them.
While I'm at it...I'd like to also welcome Stone Porter who's mom is just like me (we're twins)! and makes tater tots...he will ALWAYS eat well and laugh a lot...and I am guessing he'll be in some way involved in a marathon within a year.
Katelyn Brian was born to my old babysitter...and she is going to need the laid back sense of humor of her mom to deal with her older twin brothers...
And of course, welcome to Addie and Katie...these two are going to be endless laughs and fun - with their parents, it will be impossible NOT to be...
I'm so proud of all my friends who have recently become mommies (some twice, some again)...
Any babies scheduled for the second part of this year?!

For Ali - the secret to O.P.I. application

I've done extensive research on this subject and developed a method, no...a SCIENCE to making O.P.I. nailpolish work for me. Most likely a revolt against Ali telling me she doesn't like it after I threw out every polish I have that is NON-O.P.I. compliant, because it looks cooler that way;)

Step 1: clean, non-greasy nails -a must.
Step 2: O.P.I. Chip skip...one coat, giving an additional horizontal sweep across the top
Step 3: Don't add a basecoat as recommended, jump right into your creatively named hue...2 coats, 3 if you MUST, but make them light.
Step 4: Wait one minute and apply top coat.
I'm on day 4 with not a chip anywhere and I've done laundry, dishes, and ran my fingers through my hair.
Current Color: Make Love (Wishful thinking, boardering on Dillusional!)

Joys of Dating: Sunday Brunch

Despite the fact that age steals the illusion of happily ever after (as does watching all those fairytales end with lawyers and custody spats...)dating too, gets worse with age...or maybe men have just been steadily devolving as I've aged...
Regardless, here's a date for the record books.
Background...an eharmony date...my first one, because...well...I don't tend to want to spend time with anyone I don't know. Now I remember why...its a gamble. And I am NOT lady luck.
So we spoke on the phone about 5 times and decided to go out...I suggested Sunday brunch. Safe. Lots of people around. No walking to a car in a dark parking lot...and I LOVE brunch food. So, Ralph Machio, we'll call him...agrees on Thursday to a date on Sunday...but calls Friday to see what I'm doing. Not THAT weird, but he pushed..."you're not going to be at dinner all night right?" Ok, we have plans, I like plans. Leave me alone. Same thing Saturday...Arrrgghhh! Guess the guy really wanted to see me...
OR NOT...he showed up 30 minutes late, and even though I had called to ask where he was, he never mentioned being late, an apology, an aknowledgement, a lame brained excuse that I'm growing so (not) fond of in men recently. He saunters right up...to my BOOBS. Lets just say that I think he was using the metric system when he measured himself...not in and of itself a problem, but when you've lied...come on. Did you think I wouldn't notice?!
So we sit (Ahhh, even ground). Its outside, its a beautiful day...neither of those being an excuse to never at any moment remove your polarized sunglasses, so at any point that I look directly at you I'm forced to view my own horrification at the mornings events. Luckily, listening and rarely getting a word in edgewise doesn't require attempted eye contact..
He spoke at length about Karate (get the reference now?) and how he taught it, and how he was going to teach me, and how he could break every bone is someone's body. Sweet...the hobit can hit. My saving grace...the waitress. Poor, poor waitress. I proceed to tell her what I want, guided by this clever piece of paper they had given each of us, otherwise known as a menu. Ralphy though, wants something with just some eggs, pancakes, sausage...I know we've all heard of it - its called a Grand Slam Breakfast, and maybe he thought the waitress at the swanky french place would run over to Denny's and pick one up for him? Not even a thank you...again, horrification (I love this word, I feel like I could make it onto a Bush-ism flip calendar with it.)
Food comes, and now we're deep into every job he's had since age 11...fascinating, really. The fact that I'm sticking a fork in my eye just thinking about it is in NO way indication that I was not enthralled with the life of this little dungeon master. But soon he stops and looks at me (welcome reminder to me that I'm actually present and not just having an out of body experience). He then asks, "Is your hair thin?" I'm sorry...but that immediately brings up images of rogaine and not only being the president, but also a member. Thing is, my hair is NOT thin...I mean relative to some very dark skinned ethnicities, yes, its thinNER, but not thin. I have trouble even voicing a response, so he changes it to "soft." I touch my own hair, look at it, because I believe even my hair is bored to tears...and say I guess so. So he asked to touch it. It was creepy...not sure if it was because I figured if he got ahold of any, a doll in my likeness would be forthcoming. Regardless, creepy. Way creepy.
So we get to the point of leaving (finally - a hundred lifetimes later) and we walk the ugliest stretch Santana Row has...very fitting. I herd us toward the parking lot and walk past my car on purpose. Then turn around when I "suddenly" realize I missed my car. WISH that worked...he took my momentarily turned head to set up for making out. Like I wanna lean DOWN to play tonsil hockey in the middle of the day with farmer's market goers walking by. Not a chance. Ok a chance if the rest of the date didn't suck balls.
And the banger of a conclusion...he walks me to my car (because this most certainly has not gone on NEARLY long enough) and because I am avoiding his advances he decides to make one last attempt at getting closer. And starts tying Boy Scout knots in the rope that went around the waist of my dress...there's nothing funny or ironic enough to say about that. Only that this should indicate to you how fast I jumped in my car, peeled out of Santana Row, and was on my way to terminal single-dom.